Professional Development

Why Being a Stubborn Optometry Practice Owner Gets You Nowhere, But Being Persistent Gets You Everywhere

Obstinate vs. persistent entrepreneurs in optometry

Dr. Mai (left as you look at photo) with one of his colleagues. Dr. Mai says there's an important difference between being stubborn and persistent.

Dr. Mai (left as you look at photo) with his practice partner, Valerie Lam, OD, whom Dr. Mai notes is persistent rather than stubborn. Dr. Mai says there’s an important difference between being stubborn and persistent when it comes to achieving your goals.

By Thanh Mai, OD

Oct. 9, 2024

“Thanh, how about I hire you to be my optometry business consultant?” my friend Silvia asked over dinner. This wasn’t the first time she mentioned it.

I glanced over at her husband Mark, a highly successful manager who had stints at Amazon and Facebook where he was surrounded by the best and brightest people on the planet, giving a casual smirk.

After deliberating for about one second I resoundingly said, “Absolutely, positively, NO.”

“Why??” she responded

“Easy! Because you wouldn’t listen to me anyway!”

Too Stubborn to Take Business Advice that Could Help You?

Harsh, I know. As a friend, I love hanging out with Silvia, but as a business colleague (and as her husband Mark knows well), counseling her on how to run an optometry business is like watching someone walk in circles and then complain when she’s in the same spot.

In fact, it’s the same story with six of my other OD private practice friends. They run their optometry business, and their spouses (who aren’t ODs, but have real business experience and some even have MBAs) try to give them advice which they shoot down constantly. Inevitably, the spouse has learned to just throw their hands up and just say, “Well, it’s your business!” to save the marriage and avoid another fight.

Difference Between Being Stubborn & Persistent

On the flip side, I have friends like Javid and Derik. They are highly persistent, and even if an idea doesn’t work out they keep pushing forward until they succeed. Persistent people tend to become inevitably successful.

Being obstinate, on the other hand, is a recipe for disaster. These people have an idea about how to do things and rarely deviate from it. Days, months, years, and even DECADES, go by and they are still struggling to run a successful business. They bash their head against a wall trying to solve the same problems they’ve always had.

Why do persistent people get praised for their determination? And why do obstinate people annoy even their spouses who are their biggest fans? Are they really exhibiting the same behavior, but we just label them differently depending on the level of success they achieve?

I posit that there is a tremendous difference between being persistent and being obstinate. It’s more than just the after-the-fact success each one achieves. Both are stubborn, but in remarkably different ways. A persistent person is stubborn to reach their goals. An obstinate person is stubborn about clinging to particular ideas and approaches.

What It Means to Be Persistent

A persistent person, when you disagree with them, often dives deeper and opens their ears even more to learn what other possible solutions there can be to get them to their goals. They may or may not listen to me, but I walk away thinking “Wow, Malerie is really determined.” My friend Dawkin may or may not seem right, but listens even more intently when we disagree. I leave the conversation energized in either scenario.

On the other hand, when Silvia and I disagree, I get the feeling she just doesn’t want to hear it. Obstinate people aren’t more engaged when they disagree. Their eyes glaze over and they brush my advice off as, “Well, it’s different for my practice.” They always have a handy excuse about why they still can’t get home on time for dinner with their family and instead are enslaved to their practice.

A persistent person is like a fast moving car that always has the gas on. An obstinate person is a car, but one in which the wheels won’t turn. And usually the obstinate are stuck not just to an idea, but their FIRST idea. Sadly, their first idea might have been the least informed. Being obstinate is a reflexive resistance to changing one’s ideas even with evidence to the contrary.

The main attributes that separates persistence than obstinance are these four things:

1) Persistent people are married to their goals. They will change course, change ideas, and maybe even change their entire business model if they have to in order to achieve their goals. They are stubborn at the top of the decision tree, but not at the bottom.

2) Resilience. Mainly emotional resilience. When things don’t go well in their practice, (and there are a million things!) their morale isn’t crushed. They surge forward and solve issues day by day.

3) Imagination and energy. They are open to new ideas and ways of doing anything. Obstinate people resist many things. Those with persistence have a great combo of imagination to execute wildly different things. They keep trying and thinking of new things.

4) Good judgment. The very nature of being persistent toward your goals will inevitably lead you to change your mind often. You need good judgment to determine what path to take and to measure success along the way to pivot when needed.

An obstinate entrepreneur holds onto their original idea or plan, no matter how much evidence piles up that it’s not working. This kind of stubbornness can be a killer because it blinds you to other possibilities and better solutions.

Markets change fast, and if you can’t adapt, you’re in trouble. Obstinacy usually comes from a fear of admitting failure or a need to always be right, but these attitudes are the opposite of what’s needed for innovation.

True persistence I find is extremely rare. When a persistent fellow OD wants to bounce ideas with me, I am always game.

Thanh Mai, ODThanh Mai, OD, is a partner with Insight Vision Center Optometry, a Vision Source  practice in Costa Mesa, Calif, and Optometry Corner, a Vision Source practice in Irvine, Calif. In addition, Dr. Mai is a partner with Eyecon Optometry in Reseda, Calif.  To contact him: tmai@visionsource.com

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